Tuesday, November 23, 2010 at 2152

Good Evening,

Many mixed feelings today. Right now my contact lenses are messed up because of some recent emotions that came to the surface.

David really had a great day but it all seemed to come crashing in on him tonight and I'll explain in a minute.

It was a normal day of OT and PT. PT was extra fun today because three of the guys decided to put on their legs and race through the halls. Oh, my the way, the guy he was playing X-box with was Brian, not Michael. David really enjoyed passing a guy in the hall who had left the PT room about a quarter of a lap before him.

We ended up in Prosthetics where Pete began the measurement process to order a new let of liners. David's legs are changing in volume the more he exercises and it's time to change his liners and he'll probably be recast within the next two weeks.

Over the past few months, David has been having a terrible time being able to go to sleep. He has tried meditation, medicines, familiar setups that helped him sleep in the field while on deployments, and now he finally found a medication that does not keep him loopy in the morning but really gets him tired at night. That's when it all came crashing in - I was sitting there watching David in his wheelchair and could tell something was going on in his head. He said, Dad, this medication really causes some weird sensations. He didn't say those exact words but I can't remember exactly what words he used. He said he could actually feel his legs, not the tingly sensation he usually has, he could feel the mass, he could feel his knees, as he concentrated he could feel his calves tighten, he could feel his feet.

He said he didn't want to open his eyes because the feelings might go away. I saw that the feelings were opening another look at this harsh reality. I suggested that he should open his eyes so that it didn't feel quite so disturbing. He said that he felt like if he pushed down a little further his feet would hit the floor and he could stand up. He could feel the hair on his legs. It was far to real to enjoy the sensation. Out of respect for my son David and his privacy, I will end these comments.

I'm really having a hard time not being with my beautiful wife and the rest of my family, but I am also having a very hard time thinking that I'm going home for Thanksgiving and won't be here to help with any need he expresses. I am very grateful for Zack and Dave coming to be with and assist him - they'll be involved with killing the enemy on X-box and all will be fine.

All My Love

Gordon

P.S. Tomorrow is David's Birthday